Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Dear Uganda

It's sad that I have write this
Because I try so hard not to worry about what I can't change
Because the things I can already drive me insane
But these thoughts keep racking my brain
So I have no choice, but to put them down.

Do you know the world is watching?
As so many millions of people
Put their hearts into their hands
And take a stand,
Do you know the world is watching?

People want a choice
They choose to make a change
They have had more than my lifetime
Of the same
Underfunded hospitals
Infrastructure a mess
And then trying to support a different candidate
Causes some "political unrest"

People from bordering countries are talking
About election money they've collected
Reporters getting jailed
For filming hospitals that are neglected
And I wonder
What all this is for?
Because it is not for the citizens of Uganda
Not for my aunties and uncles
Not for my cousins

My worry radiates from 7,000 miles away
And I wonder what will greet me the next time I get to Entebbe
And I wonder who
As time goes and who knows who will vote
I hope for better
But my heart aches for worse

If You Are Reading This

If you are reading this,
This is because I'm tired of waiting
Waiting for the right moment to say this to you
But instead I am kept
Teetering on the precipice of expectation
See sawing between the heights of exhilaration and the abyss of disappointment
See your occasional text, call or voicemail was the ointment
That soothed my irritated nerves

But like a steroid taken too long
I have rebound pain
I refuse to let you fill my empty spaces with longing
I reject the idea of the idea of you shattering the quiet peace that was my solace
So I ask you
What is it?
What is it that cancels out your amorous feelings for me?
What is it that demands your silence since your physical distance is normal?
What it is though?
Because what this is is unacceptable
Non sustainable
I'm tired of the same shit every day
So I'm off the toilet and out the bathroom
Let the waste water department deal with this
Because love does not cover
Repeated negligence.

They Wanted

They wanted me to be quiet
Head down
To give my silence freely
To mark all things, good and bad, without a word

They wanted me to be short
To blend in
To be inconspicuous
"Don't stand out," they say.

They wanted me to be dumb
To not understand
To let them play tricks
To let them win
To let them do whatever they win

They wanted me to work hard
Too hard
To the point of exhaustion
Without a thought
Without reluctance
For them

But I say what I want
I can't let them rule my words
I will make a joyful noise or an angry shout

I was born to stand out
To be tall
To be seen
To be closer to the sky

The ancestors made me clever
Who am I to forsake them?
Who am I to waste my parents' education?
Why, just because I was born a girl?

Everyone and everything must rest
I am no exception
I will not fall for the deception
That I will break my back
So they will step over my body
I will work for myself

I am my own African woman
So watch me live