Sunday, March 10, 2013

Womanly (Chinyere's Response)

I am a female
2 breasts
2 ovaries
A cervix
A vagina
A period
And 2 X chromosomes attest to that.

I am a woman
My maturity
My mother
My father
My friends
My home
My life
And my struggles attest to that.

I am a woman
I am a person
I am a human
I am not a doormat
I am not a child

If you want someone to control
Go find a child
That child has come from a woman though
So both women and children
Should be respected
There are no boys without women
There are no men without women.

Oh the hypocrisy
That you sir
Want to take from me
Yet I give to you freely
And would give more if only you ask
Ask humbly
Ask gently
Ask quietly.

Oh the irony
That you john
Want to disrespect me
Yet you brought me here
Yet you left me here
Yet you made me think
That disrespecting and cheapening
My temple is the only way
To survive

Oh the audacity
That you boy
Want to denigrate me
Yet you came from me
Your mother is a woman
Like me
She birthed you and gave you life
Like I will birth and give life
She was once my age
And I will soon be hers
Boy, do you love her?
Do you love your mother?
Would you let any male talk to her
As you talk to me?

Oh the absurdity
That you politician
Want to choose for me
Want to take away my choice
Want me to cede what little control I have
My consent was taken from me
My peace was taken from me
By some random male
Or maybe even someone I know
Now I am with child
All the while
You politician
Want to choose life for this child
When I didn't choose his or her conception
You proclaim the father's rights
What about my rights?
What about my right not to be raped?
What about my right to have closure?
What about my right to have a child without being reminded of their horrible conception?

I am womanly
To be respected
To be understood
To be loved
From my very essence
To my body
So I proclaim this
I assert this
In spite of these
So called men
Who try to
And deny
My womanness.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Ask Me Why

ask me why i write
right now i write
to get right
to get to write
is a necessity
mom won't listen
& i am missing
my patience & empathy
since none is given back to me
i am giving
i have given
more than i ever thought possible
now it seems impossible
that i can receive generosity myself
nowhere else
can i be for free
and feel so uncomfortably
as in this place
the place
that i used to call home
where no one talks
so i chalk
another tick mark
on my mental wall
so these keys
this screen
these pixels
are my testament
my testimony
my words
my thoughts
that cannot be invalidated

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Dark Chocolate & Dark Women (For Chinyere & Darius)

You know what they say about dark chocolate
Then again, maybe you don't
Dark chocolate is good
Good for your heart
These compounds called flavonoids
Happen to be in this wonderful plant
Called cocoa
In chocolate with 70% cocoa or greater
In dark chocolate
Flavonoids are in enough supply
To improve cardiac and vascular health

You know what they say about dark women
Then again, maybe you  don't
Dark women are supposed to be sweet
The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice
Dark women are supposed to be ugly
"You're so pretty for a dark girl."
Dark women are supposed to be easy
"You know my side chick is kinda dark but my main chick is light."
Dark women are supposed to be less than

You know what I say about dark chocolate
Then again, maybe you won't
Its bitter sweetness works sometimes
But its too bitter for me
Tastes really good with bacon
On the whole though
I don't like it
Milk chocolate is my thing
Although dark chocolate is good for my heart

You know what I say about dark  women
Then again, maybe you won't
I am a dark woman
Don't you dare ever
Entertain the thought
That it's okay to disrespect me
Denigrate me
Like your sister
Like your mother
Like your granny
Like you great great great great granny
Aren't the same shade as me
It's not motherfucking okay
What you do with yourself
Whether to love yourself
Or to hate yourself
Is completely your business
But I expect nothing less
Than your civil kindness
Because your self worth
And my self worth
Are two different things
To never meet or accompany each other
So think about your mother
When you rain your insults
And how you would feel
If you saw some random man
Raining those same insults on her
We dark women
Have birthed
Have bred
Have raised
Have worked
Have starved
Have sacrificed
Have cried
Have given
Have died
For you
For your presence
For your gratitude
For your respect
So don't expect
My assent
And or consent
For you to be hell bent
To blackmail me
Sorry boo
I'm already black
And I'm returning the mail

Monday, March 4, 2013

Self Centered

I could talk about
all the things that don't go my way
all the mean and hurtful things people say
what good would it do?
i am through
living that bitter life
i am through
complaining about my strife
simply because it's all about me
i feel femininely free
to tell them where to go
and exactly how to get there
because every minute wasted
is a blessing boomerang
whipping back to heaven
instead of being used
i am through
with ppl
who barely know me
judging me like i am
a lawyer before the supreme court
please get busy with your life
since you are not welcome in mine
meddling gets you nowhere
it brings you nothing
except the anger and insults
pelted at you
such a verbal hail storm
you chose for yourself
maybe reflecting your inner unhappiness

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Crossed Roads (For Asaba)

I don't even know
Which way is which
And I can't trust you to guide me
Drive me
Wonderfully insane
I wonder if this is normal
We met
Lives intersect
At six corners
The most complicated ever
But I can't avoid you
I can't sigh huff & puff
Throw my hands up in defeat
Curiosity won't let me
So I pray to God
For patience

New Normal

what is that you said?
i need everything turned down
i am turned out
by the violent messages
traveling my nervous systems
the amalgamation
of several acute pangs
strung up pearls
to make beautiful chronic necklace
pain made deep deep
in muscle oysters
maybe i have too much stress
baby, if i could do less
i would
but now
all i got is me
people say
oh, mukisa, we'll help
people stay
so i stay crying
from my lower back
my migraine head
my tension nestled
tucked in between shoulders and neck
all the while
i smile
as the world turns