Gray Promise

My mind can't make sense of this
So I gotta write what's on my heart
Call my world a snow globe
Because you took it in your hands and shook
Who knew how far a smile, a voice, some words could go?
I don't whether I could hug you or shake you
Can't choose between yelling and staying angrily silent
Out of distrust of my words
I'm the kinda girl
Who always dreamed of love
But hated how it felt
Awkward to the core
Just like me
I'm on an emotional overload
Feeling are waves on the shore
As I stand on the beach
Hoping a riptide won't pull me under
And never let me go
Somehow I must learn to trust you
To trust me
But I make it hard
I tend to be guard-ed
Because the sensitive don't live
And the vulnerable always die
But I
Have to be stronger than my emotions
And smarter than my fears
Whether a beautiful promise
Or a gilded nightmare
Either way I have lived