Absentee Friendship

Maybe it's
easier for me
to be silent
to live in the now
to pretend we aren't friends
because what good
would it do me
to reminisce
to wonder where we went
wrong
i know that
it was nothing i did
because i know you
would state your offense
what good
would it do me
to ask you
what the hell is this
when days go by
without even a simple hi
it makes me wonder
what kinda friends
you think we are
that this silence is normal
no kinda friends
if you ask me
but you have to talk to me
to ask me
silence is all i have now
peppered with a few words
a text maybe
a reply to my initiation
of conversation
i never expected to continue
maybe a comment here
or there on facebook
so i wonder
what's left
in between
the texts
written words
and silence
most of me
finds that it is so easy
to call it quits
to quit this
whatever this is
it is so much easier sometimes
to just pull the plug
on this comatose friendship
than to sit at its bedside
and watch it struggle
unconsciously
i don't know
where you are at
or who you're with
when you read this
if you read this
know that this
is where i stand
since you cannot even
see me standing here
know these words
are on my heart
even if i can never say them to you