Silk Blindfold

Privilege blinds

When non-melanated voices

Clamor about rioting in Baltimore streets

Prefaced by silence about Freddie Grey

The terrorist attack in Garissa, Kenya

And the kidnapping of the Chibok girls by Boko Haram

Are mere blips on the radar

While Charlie Hebdo gets primetime

I don’t have to wonder

Why #BlackLivesMatter

Because

They only matter most to other Black lives

Black on Black crime is the same as White on White Crime

Yet only one has a term

It’s easier to kill your neighbor next door

Who looks like you

Than to go cross town and shot a stranger

Privilege blinds

Some have the audacity and stupidity

To talk about race

To talk about being colored

To talk about being Black

When they have a choice

Of being English Irish French German Italian Danish

Or just plain ol vanilla white

What else can I be other than Black?

What else can I be other than Ugandan American?

I know as much about being White

As some do about being Black

I know what they say about assumptions

So to avoid making an ass out of you and me

I keep quiet

I observe

I listen

Privilege blinds

Even to the fact that one is blinded

One has the capacity to create what is satisfactory

Eschewing all that goes against the perfect picture

Before the laws, the practices, the regulations

Society holds up White supremacy with our minds

Society supports it with our thoughts

Because when a form of protest

Becomes more problematic

Than issue that is being protested

And no solutions are given

Then what are we seeing?

Where is the clarity?

We are so far gone

In a surreal post racial experience

As some frolic with happiness

They never notice

That they are dancing on graves

Crush

My heart does what it wants

It doesn’t listen to my mind

My mind knows who he is

But my heart refuses to be swayed

I want to be the right one

The One

One of these days

Because he could be that for me

Easily

I could listen to him forever

Accents do something to me

I’m so international

We joke

We laugh

His smile

His whole smile is a thing of beauty

I can admit I’m smitten

I just want to give feeling

Time

To take root

To grow

J’espere

He still cares

When this flower

Is in full bloom

I Wanna Be

Invincible

Stronger than my body

Royal

Respect my divinity

Human

My family should not be shot like animals

Worthy

Why must my life turn into a hashtag

A movement?

Why do I have to assert my significance?

I have always mattered

Loved

Tired of being guarded

He could give me what I need

If only I ask for it

Better

Because I can

I am

Quiet (4/26)

My mama is retired

After thirty odd years

Of working for The Man

He has given her freedom papers

So as she sleeps

I rise

The diligent worker bee I am

Getting things ready

For another workday

For another work week

I think of the future

Which helps me with

The lack of free time

Me time

A few moments

Snatched here & there

I have yet to reach

My full potential

Anyway

Duties are calling me

Break (4/25)

So easily I think I’m invincible

But I am only a woman

A mere mortal

I need rest

I need love

Both are within my reach

I have to wear myself down

Be open

Be honest

What I want

What I need

Is within my reach

Sometimes I have to break

To come back together

Stronger

Better

Longer

Friday (4/24)

Check cleared

Week’s end

Good time?

It depends

Energy high

BS low

What are you saying?

I gotta go

Working hard

Oh so chill

Today would be everyday

If it was my will

The Chase

I stop

Wait

Hesitate

Move slowly and quietly

Maybe if I am undetected

I can sneak up on Happy

Happy comes and goes freely

Just as we get close

It slips away

And Calm runs right after it

I quit

And decide to take a seat

I am tired

And my breaths are short

I sit quietly

Tuning out the world

As I sit

 I think

About the tornadoes

I have stood through

The storms I have weathered

Then I look to my left and right

To see Happy and Calm sitting

On either side of me

I sigh deeply

And sit

Professional Rollercoaster (4/22)

Sometimes I wake up on top of the world

And return to bed and wonder

What happened?

My good intentions were innocent

Why were they slaughtered so mercilessly?

Too tired of fighting for calm

Tired of fighting for peace

Tired of fighting to do my job

This poem is an afterthought

Retrospect 

Weekday (4/21)

Up ready to face the world

It’s waiting for me

I know what I gotta do

Do you?

Bills can’t wait foreva

So I neva

Sleep too long

Time’s getting gone

After a weekend of rest

My only request

Is that I get paid in full.

I Get High

I get high, high, high

I get high, high, highI get high off the memories…
I get high, high, high
I get high off the memories

I remember when I was a person

Biology had failed me in my humanity

I was barely 3/5ths of a person

Before my brothers were given their 40%

And I became American

Then I could vote

But I still wasn’t a big somebody

I wasn’t a man

I wasn’t White

I get high off my own supply

My nappy hair

My Z Snap

My anger

My tendencies to be grammatically incorrect

My ghetto and my ratchét

Even though the pusha man

Sells my supply at a premium

Thinking it belongs to all y’all

NAW FAM

THIS MINE

I remember not being beautiful

Trying to buy it with Ambi Bleach and Nadinola

Trying to relax all the ugly out of my hair

Buying blue and green contacts

Just so I can see beauty

And others could see beauty when they see me

Working so hard to be straight

Because who likes curves?

I am high

Elevated to a whole ‘nother level

Looking down on white Feminism

Part of me wants to shout,

“The air is better up here!”

My colored sisters look at me and laugh

They understand that our level isn’t for everyone

Some intersect

And others run parallel

The womanist air is too sharp for some

I just sigh and lay back on a cloud

I get high, high, high

I get high, high, high,

I get high, high, high
I get high, high, high, high, high…

Bionic

Forget it

I’m not human

But I’m super

Twist hair at the speed of a flying bullet

I gets it done

I am THE ONE

The only

I take care of business

Even that you didn’t know of

I got that work

I keep you in amazement and awe

How did she do that?

I make the difficult look easy

And the impossible possible

I am more than mere flesh and bones

I am an idea

Something like a dream

Elegant like a queen

Shiny like the real thing

I glitter because I am gold

14 carats straight from the heart

My strength is not measured

In pounds or kilos

I am my own force of nature

I don’t chase storms

Storms chase me

To capture my perseverance in action

Satisfaction

In being stronger than the average bear

Yogi knows

I am emotional steel

A unique alloy

Worthy (4/18)

Of less pain

Of no pain at all

Of freedom from suffering

Of deep breaths

Of restful sleep

Of feelings

Of sadness

Of life

I am.

Yes To The Dress (4/17)

I was broken
I was pain
Holding on to the pieces for dear life
Sunlight was my kryptonite
I decided then that this day was for me
I watched shows on the DVR
I crocheted 
I did me
It was time to get out of my muu muu 
Find clothes to wear 
But I decided to wear a casual dress 
To greet the sweet 75° outdoors 
So I closet shopped 
Each dress saying,
"MUKISA! You have arrived!"
So I say yes
To loving my appearance 
To loving myself 

And to relax

Quilt

You look at me

And you see

The pretty colors

Arranged for your viewing pleasure

Yet you silently wonder

How I do it

No one sees the thread loosen

The binding get weak

The shape get slack

As fabric beings to peel back

I retreat to my dark solace

And let time unwind me

Until I am an unfeeling pile of scraps

Trying to get rest

No interest

In besting anyone

For that is an energy bill I can’t afford

Trying to catch my breath siting still

Willing myself to respect limits

So as the sun rises

The day brightens

My stitched up scraps

Pop brightly again

Halfway through

I can see it

I have made it quite a ways

I have so far to go

I know that I will get there

But it will take all of me

Sleepless nights

Painful days

Stress reactions in ym body

I have come too far to turn back

For in retreat I would have covered the full distance

Sometimes you have to know when to say when

And when to press on

I have faith

Which will carry me

Banana

I don’t talk about this much

Simply because

People don’t understand

And they judge out of their blissful ignorance

You have never been overweight

A day in your life

Yet you try to chide for taking the “easy way” out

Are you sure?

I think it’s much easier to be a smaller size

And to never be discriminated or bullied

Because of numbers on a scale

To have better choices for fashion

To be able to ride all the rollercoasters

To be comfortable with the lap belts in an airplane

But my opinion doesn’t count because I’m fat, right?

Even if I was to wear “fat” as a badge of pride,

It would irk you that I am starting to discard it

Working hard to shed your label

And break your box

Because I’m clever like a fox

I know that your mouth of knives

Is powered by a furnace of insecurity

All you have left to build yourself up

Is to try and tear me down

So go head

Talk about my looks

If it helps you sleep at night

Because my looks can and will change

But…what about you?

Ulcers (4/13)

What is it?

Because calmness doesn’t stay here long

I am fond of

Just calling it quits

Because despite my best interest

My best efforts

And my best intentions

Dysfunction still reigns

And we are his loyal subjects

What is it?

Why are you calling my name?

Is there something wrong?

What is wrong?

Because I have never been summoned for something right

It makes me endeavor to change my name

To stay out of sight

To be inconspicuous is always the goal

I can keep my head down and be busy

What is it?

An announcement?

I hope it is nothing bad

Another tactic to enslave e me

To the needs of this company

Giving time I can’t afford

That is WAY more precious than time and a half

Oh, whew.

Change in procedure.

Never mind.

Spirit Peace (4/12)

Quiet      

Peace

Peace be with you

And with your spirit

That always confused me, until now

I always thought

Just saying, “Peace be with you”

Like before covered it all

It was easy, it flowed

I suppose that peace in your spirit is more permanent

We humans are hell bent

 On being fickle creatures

Featured

On every news headline and magazine

Posing on the scene

 For the love of money and the money of love

Never seeking peace

Or understanding our restlessness

But I understand that spirit

Is the anchor of us all

So if the crashing waves try to wash me away

My peace has me still

Club Love

I’m not here to drink

So don’t think

You can pick up my tab

Just so I can follow you home

Know that

Just like I didn’t come here

To meet you

To greet you

Or become your little plaything

Your sex toy

Get back boy

Cuz the only thing getting played is the music

The record scratches

As my hips turn

Real girls get on the floor

Watch and learn

Just me and the music

I don’t need to clap back

Singing along to the music

Cuz I got it like that

I know the DJ

Might be in his clique

Now I am wondering

Will my blue dress fit

I might wear it

But I’m nothing like a devil

Just give me the snare, the high hat

Lyrics, base & treble

Let it cover my heart beat

Too sweet

This club love

Spring

I am blossoming

Spring has sprung within me

One –third of April is gone

And these 10 days have smelled sweet

Even when April showers have darkened and rattled

The promise of chirping birds and caressing breezes awaits

I clean in homage of this wondrous season

Casting away old things to let things grow anew

I meet and greet every day with a smile

And most days the sunshine smiles back

The days where gray clouds and humidity stand guard

I breathe deep

Inhale the wet promise of flowers and trees

The verdant shining of Mother Nature’s emeralds

After a hard long Chicago winter

Spring is here

Inside and out.

Feelin Myself (4/9)

I'm ridin round & I get it

I'm ridin round & I get it

I'm ridin round & I get it
It's mine, they sent it

It's mine, they sent it

It's mine, they sent it

This my remix & I ain't 2 Chainz
I'm not no lazy broad
I get up & do thangs
Move maine
Get out the way
Handling my bidness
No time to waste 
No need to buy my drink
Yeah I got it
Cuz you really want something else 
And I'm not it
I'm a woman about mines
Never been a jump off
Always got some nice flats
Cuz I stay taking pumps off
Don't need no high heels 
Already stand at 5'9"
My checks never be short
I stay doing overtime
I stay doing homework 
All about the next level 
When it comes to music 
I love the bass & the treble 
Don't forget about the high hat & the snare
When I party both my hands are in the air

I don’t wanna hear about nothing else

Cuz in this moment I’m feelin myself

Cuz in this moment I’m feelin myself

Feelin myself

Fee-feelin myself

I'm ridin round & I get it

I'm ridin round & I get it

I'm ridin round & I get it
It's mine, they sent it

It's mine, they sent it

It's mine, they sent it

No (Social) Life

Blind ambition

I don’t see obstacles

Staying up to 2 am for a paper is fine

Still rising in time

For work at 10 am

I can say that I gave my all

You don’t have to call

And ask about my life

Or my lack thereof

Living only for tomorrow

Is for those who can only afford

To see beyond the end of their nose

I have been blessed and privileged

To be of old money

To have a future to invest in

Testing, testing… 1,2,3.

Can y’all hear me

Clear me

Of the debt

Of your stereotypical womanly expectations

I don’t need to be dating at a certain age

I’m quite fine turning the page

At the guestbook

Of someone else’s wedding reception

Since I have plenty of fine dresses to wear

In order to be the best we

I gotta be the best me

Sorry, Auntie

I have to run and do homework

Nice talking to you

Man of My Thoughts

I could easily write about you

For hours on end

Your great qualities

That I am certain of

Your calmness

Your intelligence

Your passion

Your compassion

Your ambition

Your heart

Your love

I could easily write about you

For hours on end

But will I ever know

The experience of meeting you

Knowing you

Loving you?

I am skeptical

Because Cupid

Has yet to write you in my calendar

So focused on assignments, commutes,

Travel times and classes

Paychecks and school debts

But I know better than to say never

God has proven me wrong several times

So I as think about your jokes

Your seriousness with a mischievous streak

Just your way

I cherish these thoughts

Until I meet you first

Tired (4/6)

Too hard

I tried to

Reconcile

Everything,

Doomed to a long episode of exhaustion and regret.

Easter (4/5)

I have to rise up

Like He did

But I keep getting pulled down

Pride

Pettiness

Anger

Condescension

Are pretty heavy anchors

But I gotta do better

Please Lord, help me get it together.

Vigil

They taught me to wait

In dark, hushed silence

With extinguished candles

In my best tailored outfit

And a jacket to ward off the chill

They taught me to wait

After a group of readings

A flash of light

As we observed and gave praise for His resurrection

They taught me to wait

For he will come to me

For He won’t forsake me

And take me

To evil

They taught me to wait

And for once

In my impatient life

I am so glad I did

Faith

I can’t help but reflect on a day like this

What I was taught to believe

That He

Died for all of us

So I trust and believe

That everything will work out

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

On earth, as it is in heaven

But it hurts my heart

To see rules

To see religion

Strip us of the very compassion

That was bestowed upon us

People use their religion to hate others

People use their religion to condemn others

People use their religion to hate and condemn themselves

So I ask

Where’s the love?

Where’s the love in that?

Do we really love Him?

Do we really love ourselves?

Do we really love other?

I have faith

That the answers someday

Will all be yes