Another Mistake

It was all a dream
I thought that I met you
And I found someone that would listen
And that someone would get to know me
And that I would get to know them

But
That didn't happen
We talked
We texted
And what do those words really mean?

Now I am just trying to wake up
I really just want to wake up
Can I just please wake up?

This is my life
Chalk it up to another mistake

Substance

I sigh
And wonder why
Sometimes my standards are so high
If I expected a little less
Then I guess
We could probably still be phone friends.
It is not that I hate you
I just can't stand
The disappointment
Of appointment
After appointment
Being cancelled.

I know that you
probably want much more
Than my friendship
But know this
If you can't be my good friend
You can't be my good man
Similar qualities in both relationship are important
Who the hell are you that I will waste my life waiting on you to show up?

Flattery will only get you so far, my good sir
Like cotton candy when I haven't eaten
Words spun nice and sweet
But eventually, I will go and get a burger
Or a slice of pizza
A meal of substance to hold me.

mom

i could talk about everybody that has got my back

knowing that they could leave me

and possibly turn around and come back

knowing from the very beginning i probably slept against your back

knowing that you yelling at me always kept me on track 

even in my heartbreak you never forsake or ever slack

you always helped me picked out my school clothes and back pack

our relationship is an equation that they'll never crack

first best friend 

to the end

my mom

Shattered

It was all a dream, huh?
I was fine, to think my own thoughts
To feel my own feels
Guarded
Soft hearted
Never knowing that you could see me
Though I would never say a word
Absurd, though it was
Because we were in a different time and space
I face
The reality
Of things never being the same
You spoke words better left
And I just have to manage
My thoughts
My feelings
Because to think I could just feel
Without consequence
Is a mirror
That has been shattered.

Thanks But No Thanks

I can't be the one you need
Because it isn't about you
My light doesn't shine
To give you power
The access to my brilliance
Is an accident
I am not here for you
I appreciate your appreciation
Though I am under no obligation
Or inclination
To accept your offer.

To-Do

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

No time to breathe.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

Sleep

Work

Eat

Study.

No time to be.

What It's Like To Be Me

What is it like to be me?
I don't really expect to see many girls like me on the TV
But it's a good thing I don't watch
Bombarded by messages about who I should be and what I should have
It's a good thing I like who I am and what I've got
I have gotten used to being ignored and silence when talking about issues
But it's a good thing I'm stubborn and loud
Groupthink gets people into sticky situations
So it's okay I don't follow the crowd
I work hard and pray harder
There's so much to be done
Sometimes I struggle to take a breath
And oftentimes I wonder
How I keep from from going under
What part of me is left?
What is it like to be me?
Exhausted
Yet grateful
Running from pillar to post
Some days I'm victorious
And others I could just cry
But if anything
I have learned
Both a triumph
And a trial
Start with a try.